people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
