Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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