you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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