What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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