Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
