Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
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