I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
