At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
