and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dicks are not precious.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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