If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
