I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
