i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
