I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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