I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
