you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
