It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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