Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
