you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
