you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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