her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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