Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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