My hand turned me down
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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