i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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