so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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