he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
