I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
