I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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