I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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