as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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