All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
