so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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