I wannas sexs uuuuu
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
