so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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