if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
