Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
