im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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