Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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