his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
