Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
