In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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