I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
