And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
