You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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