maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
