Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
