so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
