so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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