he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
