ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
