Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
